...

I want to feel your warm embrase , cos these nights are only getting colder. so open your chest so i can put my heart in its place a spot next to yours as we keep getting older. and lay beside me now and we can fall asleep, experiencing dreams we just wish would come true. thse are memories i'll wish to always keep cos my dreams always end with you.......

Fml. Part 2.

I know its a serious problem when i cant even fake being happy through text...its gettting harder to fool ppl...whats wrong w/ me?
Usually only 1 person can tell when I'm faking it...
fml..
I'm coming apart...
cant stop shaking cant stop crying...

Love Never Wanted Me.

So. I just poured my whole soul out to him...
And all he says is "wow".
I tell him all my secrets he says wow...
Then I ask is that all you're gonna say...
And he curses at me...
Very nice.
Another person who I'm not telling anything again.
I'll just have to fake being happy until I shoot myself in the face.

Fml.

Fml.
Writing that post made me think of Alex...and At the same time "it's hard to say" by the Used started playing... Bert knows me so well... these lyrics describe it so well... Without him Ive been a mess...

the singer finished singing and she's walking out
the singer sheds a tear fear of falling out
and it's hard to say how i feel today
for years gone by, and i cried

it's hard to say that i was wrong
it's hard to say i miss you
since you've been gone it's not the same

my worries weigh the world how i used to be
and everything(i'm cold) seems a plague in me
and its hard to say how i feel today
for years gone by, and i cried

it's hard to say that i was wrong
its hard to say I miss you
since you've been gone it's not the same
it's hard to say i held my tongue
it's hard to say if only
since you've been gone it's not the same

worst that i fear it's the lie you told a thousand times before
worst that i fear it's the knife
but it's hard to say how i feel today
for years gone by, and i cry

it's hard to say that i was wrong
it's hard to say I miss you
since you've been gone it's not the same
it's hard to say i held my tongue
it's hard to say if only
since you've been gone i'm not the same
it's hard to say
(God it's hard to say)
it's hard to say
(God it's hard to say)
since you've been gone i'm not the same

Ive been changed... fer the worst... now Im too dependant. I'm a clingy betch I hate myself.

Cos Baby I'm not alright when you go; I'm not fine.

I'm so sad.
A really bad day is coming up..
And all my 'friends'
aren't even there fer me..
I ask fer help and get nothing.
Tyler basically hates me.
I think Anna and Joshy are my only friends...
Ryan is dating Ashely and is bragging to me how theyre partying and getting drunk at his house... :[
Sigh.
Im all alone as usual...
I knew I shouldn't have put my all into one person.
This time I have no back up plan...
This is what I wish fer...

• Someone who gives love back
• Someone who wont leave me fer a younger girl
• Someone who understands I am not perfect
• Someone who can help me, someone who can save me
• Robert McCracken hahahah ♥ I wish....
• Someone who randomly calls me, to say sweet things, and If I don't answer they leave me cute voicemails.
• Someone if we fight they will talk about the problems
• Someone who would write cute things on their myspace fer everyone to see ♥
• Someone who will write me cute tweets fer me to wakeup to.. &talk to me all the time on there
  
• Someone who will hug me and kiss me when I cry
• An all around beautiful emo boy ♥

The last time; almost 3 years ago when I wrote a list; It gave me Alex ♥ but that list was all physical, but it was SO exact.... blond hair dyed black, bright blue eyes, chubbiness... Then 2 months later I met him...maybe this mental list will come true.. I hope... ♥

She had an earthquake on her mind. Apparently the kind that would bury us alive.

What eveer.
I hate people.
I need someone whos there fer mee. ._.
No one gives a fuck.

All good things must come to an end.

Just ask geezus.

"And when we're bored we shall play russian roulette with 12 bullets" -October Valentine.