...

I want to feel your warm embrase , cos these nights are only getting colder. so open your chest so i can put my heart in its place a spot next to yours as we keep getting older. and lay beside me now and we can fall asleep, experiencing dreams we just wish would come true. thse are memories i'll wish to always keep cos my dreams always end with you.......

Fml. Part 2.

I know its a serious problem when i cant even fake being happy through text...its gettting harder to fool ppl...whats wrong w/ me?
Usually only 1 person can tell when I'm faking it...
fml..
I'm coming apart...
cant stop shaking cant stop crying...

Love Never Wanted Me.

So. I just poured my whole soul out to him...
And all he says is "wow".
I tell him all my secrets he says wow...
Then I ask is that all you're gonna say...
And he curses at me...
Very nice.
Another person who I'm not telling anything again.
I'll just have to fake being happy until I shoot myself in the face.

Fml.

Fml.
Writing that post made me think of Alex...and At the same time "it's hard to say" by the Used started playing... Bert knows me so well... these lyrics describe it so well... Without him Ive been a mess...

the singer finished singing and she's walking out
the singer sheds a tear fear of falling out
and it's hard to say how i feel today
for years gone by, and i cried

it's hard to say that i was wrong
it's hard to say i miss you
since you've been gone it's not the same

my worries weigh the world how i used to be
and everything(i'm cold) seems a plague in me
and its hard to say how i feel today
for years gone by, and i cried

it's hard to say that i was wrong
its hard to say I miss you
since you've been gone it's not the same
it's hard to say i held my tongue
it's hard to say if only
since you've been gone it's not the same

worst that i fear it's the lie you told a thousand times before
worst that i fear it's the knife
but it's hard to say how i feel today
for years gone by, and i cry

it's hard to say that i was wrong
it's hard to say I miss you
since you've been gone it's not the same
it's hard to say i held my tongue
it's hard to say if only
since you've been gone i'm not the same
it's hard to say
(God it's hard to say)
it's hard to say
(God it's hard to say)
since you've been gone i'm not the same

Ive been changed... fer the worst... now Im too dependant. I'm a clingy betch I hate myself.

Cos Baby I'm not alright when you go; I'm not fine.

I'm so sad.
A really bad day is coming up..
And all my 'friends'
aren't even there fer me..
I ask fer help and get nothing.
Tyler basically hates me.
I think Anna and Joshy are my only friends...
Ryan is dating Ashely and is bragging to me how theyre partying and getting drunk at his house... :[
Sigh.
Im all alone as usual...
I knew I shouldn't have put my all into one person.
This time I have no back up plan...
This is what I wish fer...

• Someone who gives love back
• Someone who wont leave me fer a younger girl
• Someone who understands I am not perfect
• Someone who can help me, someone who can save me
• Robert McCracken hahahah ♥ I wish....
• Someone who randomly calls me, to say sweet things, and If I don't answer they leave me cute voicemails.
• Someone if we fight they will talk about the problems
• Someone who would write cute things on their myspace fer everyone to see ♥
• Someone who will write me cute tweets fer me to wakeup to.. &talk to me all the time on there
  
• Someone who will hug me and kiss me when I cry
• An all around beautiful emo boy ♥

The last time; almost 3 years ago when I wrote a list; It gave me Alex ♥ but that list was all physical, but it was SO exact.... blond hair dyed black, bright blue eyes, chubbiness... Then 2 months later I met him...maybe this mental list will come true.. I hope... ♥

She had an earthquake on her mind. Apparently the kind that would bury us alive.

What eveer.
I hate people.
I need someone whos there fer mee. ._.
No one gives a fuck.

All good things must come to an end.

Just ask geezus.

"And when we're bored we shall play russian roulette with 12 bullets" -October Valentine.

I will avenge my ghost.

Today was insanely boring.
Mum and me keep arguing.
I talked to Ryan today..
I'm so scared about what I say to him cos he gets so mad if I get emotional or act 'stupid' =[
I know he doesn't love me anymore.
And I dont love him in a romantical way anymore...
Just a friendly way...
He took me out of his top &his about me...
I feel horrible. :[
I can't beleive just a few months ago I was really hopping he'd ask me out again... -sigh- Sorta glad he didn't...
And on top of that I think me and Tyler are growing appart.
Things aren't the same.
He doesn't send me pics anymore..
Hates talking to me on the phone &always has some excuse why he doesn't wanna talk to me..
He doesn't tell me he loves me unless I say it first...
No matter WHAT I do he gets pissed off..
All he does is respond with 1 word answers or just doesn't respond at all.
He probably found someone else.
I mean hes a rock star. I'm just a wanna be. =/
And;; I also miss my panda I thought ignoring the panda would make this all easier... but it doesn't... at all...
Fuck this I'm texting him tomorrow.
After Ty ditches me; I swear I'm done. And I MEAN it this time.
Never loving anyone again.
Family guy is the best thing that happened to me today. :[
-Chrissy.

So my mum is a betch.

I'm fucking trying to eat something and she tells me not to and calls me a fucking liar and tells me to go out in the street and find food.
I hate her.
She is starving me to death.
S my D betch.

------------------------------------------------------
Why do guys always ignore girls....ugh.

iSleepOnGraves

I'm so lost...
And sad all the time.
It's soo hard faking it all the time.
But I don't want anyone to waste time caring about me. ugh.
Also; these headaches never seem to go away.

We will never sleep.

So today wasn't that good of a day.
I haven't been sleeping.
I go to sleep at 2am and wake up/get woken up at 6.
Which reminds me of the Bring Me The Horizon song
Diamonds aren't forever
and the lyrics "we will never sleep. cos sleep is fer the weak. and we will never rest. till we're all fucking dead."
I think that's true fer me... sigh.
And my mum is such a betch.
She nearly breaks my arm.
And I'm freaking out cos she's trying to throw away a plush my friend gave me.
I told Tyler what my mum did all he said was "omg". -_-
Sometimes I feel like he honestly does not care.

Um I guess that's it fer now....